Comedic, educational variety show with a bent towards apologetics and a Christian worldview. This is a first draft. The show was written for a certain set of people, who were busy at the time and remain busy.
GOD MADE IT, WHY CAN’T I EAT IT?
SCENE 1 – THE DESKS
Typical “late show” set, except there are two desks, one classy, normal-sized one with a RED TELEPHONE on it, the other kid-sized. ERIC is sitting at his desk, looking over his papers. He looks up, looks over at the little desk, then opens his mouth to speak.
Suddenly, there’s a huge CRASH from backstage. MATT comes bounding in wearing pajamas and runs around the set, finally stopping beside ERIC. He is quivering with energy and can’t seem to stand still.
ERIC
(Exasperated) Matt! I told you no sugar before the show!
MATT
But God made sugar!!
ERIC
Just because God made it, doesn’t mean you need to eat a bunch of it!
MATT
But it’s SOOOOO yummy! And all my friends eat it!
ERIC
But it makes you really hyper (aside to us) and useless (back to Matt) when you eat a bunch of it. God doesn’t like us to get addicted to things or put things in our body that are going to hurt it.
MATT
(crosses his arms) Fine! (Stomps off stage)
ERIC
(turns to the camera) That’s actually a good introduction to today’s show. God made everything in this world, but that doesn’t mean he wants us to eat everything or do everything that can be done. Always remember, God made us for a purpose. And the closer we can get to what He intended…
ANNOUNCER
We interrupt Eric to bring you a special news report from Israel. This is old news, but it makes it sound very important if we interrupt people this way! Paul, in a letter to the Ephesians (????) just announced blah blah blah
Bad cell-phone video, very blurry, pixilated, of robed men in a building, but you can’t really see much of anything. An unintelligible voice is saying something. Subtitles say the verse about the purpose of humans.
ANNOUNCER
Back to you, Eric!
Back in the studio, MATT is sitting at his little desk beside ERIC. MATT has a dumbstruck look on his face.
ERIC
Wow, that’s awesome!
MATT
I don’t get it. Well, I kinda do, but when did this happen? And why would He create humans if they were such trouble? I mean, most of us don’t exactly follow our purpose. Most people are just running around chasing butterflies.
———————————————–
INT. DESKS ON MAIN STAGE
HEAVENLY 5-0
MATT is at his desk, looking expectantly at the camera. A cardboard cutout with Eric’s face is sitting in his chair.
MATT
In this episode, we’ve made Eric more funny! (He runs over to behind the cardboard cutout and tries to imitate Eric’s voice).
Hey everybody! It’s Eric!
ENTER KENT ANDREW
Kent is dressed as an angel policeman.
KENT ANDREW
(Makes siren noise) Hey! Matt! You can’t start the show without Eric. He’s the one in charge. You get a ticket for that. (Starts writing out a ticket).
MATT
Oh, man! But I just wanted to make the show more fun!
ENTER ERIC
ERIC
Hey guys, what’s going on?
KENT ANDREW
Matt tried to start the show without you.
