The New Car (Malcolm in the Middle, Fan Script)
FADE IN:
INT. LIVING ROOM – MORNING
A typical Saturday morning. MALCOLM, DEWEY, and HAL are all in their PAJAMAS, lounging on the couch watching Saturday morning cartoons. REESE is off in the corner READING a BUSINESS MAGAZINE, but we’re not paying attention to him right now. A big pan of cooked bacon is in the center of the coffee table, and the boys are eating it like popcorn. Empty, dirty plates litter the coffee table, along with the normal potpourri of junk. The cartoons are dumb and loud, as usual.
TV DINOSAUR
Hey Mr. Bickery Tickery Bop! I always like the way you pop, pop, pop!
MALCOLM
The Tyrannosaurus Rex was a meat-eater, why is he singing a song with a triceratops?
HAL
Maybe they’re friends.
DEWEY
(around a mouthful of bacon)
I don’t know dad, if you tasted as good as bacon, I would eat you.
Dewey and Hal laugh.
LOIS ENTERS, in her work uniform, picking things up and getting ready to go. She pulls the bacon away from the boys and is rewarded with a satisfactory chorus of protest.
HAL/MALCOLM/DEWEY
Heeeyyy!!
LOIS
Plates. Sink.
All of them leap to their feet and take plates, forks, and even trash to the kitchen, then pile back onto the couch. Lois puts down the bacon, then notices something is off.
Reese isn’t watching TV. He’s sitting properly in a corner, absorbed in a BUSINESS MAGAZINE. He’s been ignoring the whole exchange, and has an interested, goofy grin on his face. Her eyes narrow suspiciously.
LOIS
Reese! What are you doing?
REESE
(attempted innocent look)
Nothing mother…
This shocking news forces Malcolm, Dewey, and Hal turn and watch the scene. Lois WALKS over and YANKS the magazine out of his hands. A second, DIRTY MAGAZINE falls out of the inside of the business magazine. Lois glares at Reese and smacks him with it.
LOIS
Looks like I get the day off. You know what to do!
Reese humbly does as he’s told and LEAVES.
MALCOLM
(to camera)
Sometimes I wonder if Reese is actually the genius, but just has poor execution skills.
